Yes. What.The.Fuck? As in, "What the fuck is wrong with people?!?" I had one of the biggest of these moments this week. Long story short, I experienced bigotry at the hands of misogynistic sexists.
The narrative is not necessary - I was called a handful of derogatory terms at the hands of strangers. It wasn't the first time and it's not going to be the last. I kept my cool, but the people who've experienced the same discrimination repeatedly learn how to fight back. In my case, I used my written words.
I confess, I needed a break from preaching the bliss gospel and allow myself to feel the waves of emotions. The sadness that evolved into anger and the anger that morphed into pity. I pity adult individuals who can't manage to get their social propriety in order.
I'll also admit that I was traumatized.
Because I am writing this a couple of days after the incident, doing so has allowed me to be productive as a result of my negative emotions.
See, being put in an uncomfortable situation by mindless individuals are the ones that forces you to ask the following questions under your breath.
What the fuck?
Why the fuck?
Who the fuck do these people think they are?
See, we all experience opportunities that help us grow a new layer of thick, tough, rhinoceros skin. You don't have to stoop down to their level. The goal is to keep your peace in the midst of chaos.
When shit happens, embrace the initial darkness. Give yourself time to feel it. Then, move forward. Don't dwell on the bull-funk-filled world around you. Rise above it. Focus on the speck of light that remains, then, become the light. Choose it over the darkness that's so tempting to sink into.
My journey started half a decade ago, when I was surrounded by glitz, glamour, and everything I thought I wanted in life - and I still was not happy. I bought into everything superficial and was in denial that my glittery world was a warped web of lies that I told myself.
"If you have $$$$$$$, you'll be happy."
"Have these friends and attend those events, and that will mean that everybody loves you."
"Wear thousand-dollar shoes and handbags; those will make you beautiful."
Lies. Sparkly, Gorgeous, Lies.
I'm not saying that all those things aren't awesome. I'm not even denying that for a moment, they caused the sparkle in my eyes. However, amidst all of those things and people, I was miserable. I couldn't figure it out, and I nearly killed myself trying to find out why I wasn't happy.
Everything I was doing was self-serving and was aimed toward fleeting, momentary satisfaction. My earthly desires were being satiated, but my soul felt empty.
My "happiness" was dependent upon external, purchased stimuli and how people felt and thought about me. It stopped feeling right. I needed more of less. I wanted a do-over, and before I knew it, I hit rock bottom. I landed on it head first, and getting up was a bitch. I downsized in a big way, and before I knew what I was doing, I instinctively downsized. I needed to feel inspired again, and my soul craved more.
I was ready to recalibrate my sense of purpose and my readiness to be of service to people, but first, I needed to clear off and clean up my side of the street. I began living in such a way that if my activity did not bring me closer to my general well-being, I didn't do it. I cleaned up my life from within, and now I am in the position to guide you while I am mindful to keep track of my own blissful state.
My mission for the month is not for you to feel elated, all the time (because not only is it unrealistic, it will feel forced), but to possess an emotional equilibrium that is closer to bliss and peace more often that it wavers.
In the next 27 days...
We will dive within and recalibrate - a love-yourself-from-the-inside-out period that will inevitably affect those around you. Invite them on your journey! As depicted above, we will be using the hashtag #BYOB on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to discuss and share take moments of beautiful photos, quotes, and updates that will inspire each of us to bring ourselves closer to our bliss.
Check back tomorrow for more official #BYOB content.
Today we discuss: What does it mean to you to become your own bliss?
Respond in the comments below, on your Facebook timeline, via Twitter, or Instagram.
For the past few months, I've been in this strange place of balancing my desire to be of service to people to help them reach bliss with shedding the layers of the past that have crippled my creative endeavors.
While it has been my mission to heal others from their past; to extract lessons from catastrophe, my own past crept up on me and I succumbed to my fears as though it was a monkey that found its home upon my shoulders.
Then I remembered one very important thing. This (waves hand 'round) is not about me. It stopped being about me when I left what felt comfortable in order to guide people toward their own happiness.
See, we crave to feel good.
Those of us who were not to strive toward bliss often find it difficult to make being happy a priority. I'm not saying that every single moment of every single day will be made up of unicorns that shit glitter topped cupcakes.
On the contrary, I find that balance: simply keeping a sense of calm and well-being during trials and tribulations allows for bliss to be possible. It's almost an emotional homeostasis - a scale that has the tendency to tip more often toward light and love.
When I learned on Facebook that Ms. LaPorte was going to unleash upon the world a mapping tool of desires, a planner, and a journal, I squealed like a school girl and immediately scrapped all of my prospective 2014 planners. (As shown above, as a Christmas present to myself, I've giddily purchased the Holy Trinity; I desire to feel empowered and in tune with my soul.)
Here is the Amazon link to The Desire Map, which is gorgeously written and contains within its covers two
parts - the guiding text, and the soul igniting workbook. If you need help allowing your soul to speak more loudly, or to give yourself permission to feel more and to allow those feelings to light your way, then treat yourself.
I'm a firm believer in envisioning important aspects of my future and writing them down, keeping me on track to live my life with intention, purpose, and discipline
Desire Fuels Your Endeavours
How do you want to feel? Whether you know it or not, how you want to feel fuels most of the decisions you've made in your life. That job you held on to; you desired to feel accomplished. That pair of shoes you bought; you desired to feel indulgent. That hot piece of man you've recently allowed in; you desired to embrace your sexiness.
Most of us have been raised and hard-wired to do what we have to do to make it - to play nice with everyone, settle for a job we hate, stay comfortable within the proverbial box, even if we aren't happy.
Don't you want a map out of that nonsensical box?
How do you really want to feel?
Danielle will take your hand and lead you toward the stuff that lights you up from the inside out. She'll teach you how to work your way through the funky stuff and give you permission to feel your way into the wonderful stuff.
It's that time of year again. The holidays are just around the corner, and November brings about an annual practice, for some, that includes choosing one thing each day of the month to be thankful for.
This sounds like the perfect opportunity to turn a yearly habit into a daily one. It is not necessary to wait for easy or good circumstances to be grateful. Embrace the struggle.
all right when things don't work out the way you've expected them to.
Allow yourself time to grieve. Hell, throw yourself a pity party if you
need to. Move through the motions of the experience.
Reclaim control over the situation by putting a time limit on feeling your raw, pain-filled loneliness then put a cap on it. Let it control you no further.
Focus on moving forward. Don't get so caught up on what should've
been-you're giving your past and the people in it too much power. No situation and no person is ever worth surrendering your peace to.
Empower yourself to do whatever feeds your soul. You've got a big, bright future to look forward to. Be thankful, regardless of your situation. Don't wait for things to be amazing to figure out what good lies in it.
Society teaches us that being unhappy isn't only normal. It's acceptable. There are too many people in this world who dread waking up in the morning, hate their jobs, and loathe going to work. They trade their time in for money. Everyone needs to earn a living, after all. Issues arise when their tolerance for stagnant unhappiness diffuses itself into their personal lives. They become comfortable with being unhappy, until they realize they're miserable but are too afraid to do anything about it, or they were simply never taught how.
Your life does not have to be a succession of moments in which you simply do what you [think you] have to do.
can't tell you how many people I've encountered who prefer to talk about
the issues they have, with themselves and others, rather than work
Sure, chatting about things that we wish to change is an important first step, but that's all it is. One step.
Shift your energy and focus. Don't dwell on the problem and how you
don't know how to fix it. Work toward the solution so you don't feel stuck in a situation.
Don't like your friends?
Make new ones. Create space in your life for meaningful people and situations by ridding yourself of clutter.
Not happy with your body?
Let's form new eating habits and exercise schedule. Evolve into the healthiest version of yourself. Work toward being able to sit around naked happily.
Does the person in the mirror piss you off?
Forgive yourself. Let go, and
remember that your past will only dictate your future if you let it. Every moment is an opportunity for your to grow. Spend some time in nature. Read an inspiring book.
I adore fresh beginnings. Let me rephrase that: I LIVE for them.
I've intentionally taken a break from it all. During my social/writing hiatus, I've developed a coaching program that will provide you with tools that will guide you toward bliss, utilizing every aspect of your circumstance.
While we strive to become our very best selves, we often get caught up in situations beyond our control and allow them to define us. It's human to feel trapped, alone, and helpless.
Here are a few life situations I've personally overcome using methods that I will happily share with you.
Abusive Relationship/Domestic Abuse
If you feel hopeless and alone, I promise you're not. I'm here to help you through it all.
I know I've been very quiet for the past few months. Lord knows I've missed writing and being an active member of my life and loving what I do.
Money became my crutch. Like so many people, I put my passion on the back burner temporarily so I can line up my finances so I would have room to build my passion.
Coming home every night with the amount of money most don't even see in a paycheck made me lose sight of what I love to do.
I confess, at first working was a rush; instant gratification took over and I was OK with coming home exhausted and worn out. I ran out of energy to exercise. I stopped taking care of myself and my love.
I neglected my businesses and became the type of person who frustrated me.
I am privileged to have the opportunities that I have. In truth, they are fleeting moments that beg to be utilized and celebrated. These opportunities deserve the very best version of me, and who am I to deny myself future victory over a few bucks? The turning point came yesterday. After days of bubbling beneath the surface, my yearning for a higher purpose beyond my day job came into the forefront when during my shift, one of my very best friends Cori walked up to me while I was reading a life-changing email.
In the most perfect moment, Cori told me, "So, I decided that I want to support you in any way I can with your projects." The Indie Chicks and The Blissification have my heart, and I have not made room in my life for either.
Both deserve my love, devotion, spirit, and attention. I woke up this morning feeling refreshed. I'm back and I'm ready.
By the way, I am now a certified life coach and am laying the foundation to form my coaching company!
There are benefits to having a routine, don't get me wrong. Discipline and methods of operation need routine in order to be properly developed. Daily activities done sequentially are necessary in order to function.
This kind of daily routine keeps a person clean, healthy, and fed. In ever other aspect of life - aspirations and fun, I fail to see why a routine would prove necessary. In my personal experience, the more I planned, the less I got done. Big goals can be broken down into smaller parts and tackled, but more often than not, plans do not go as well...planned.
I can't tell you how many people I've spoken to who have told me that the job they are doing to make a living is something they got stuck in because they had gotten comfortable within their routine.
They are unhappy but do not know which steps to take in order to get their lives on track to becoming their happy, whole selves because they were taught that they had to live their lives like everyone else.
The secret no one talks about is that you are not stuck. You're not stuck unless you decide that you are. Unless you succumb to your circumstances and call that your routine, you can always move forward.
Sure it will take creativity, grit, and perseverance, but those are small prices to pay for living a life you love.