Most of the accomplishments worth undertaking are ever easy.  The process of getting from Point A to Point B makes getting to Point B worth the effort.  

This can be applied to anything, whether it be about getting nearly a decade's worth of post-secondary education, to landing a job, to getting over a break-up, or learning something new about one's self.

The cost of the outcome is the $truggle.  

I will apply this to situations that occur on a mundane basis.  I am rarely sick, and I have succumb to the flu for the past six days.  I loathe the sensation of being physically incapacitated.  I don't know about you, but when I first feel ill, I am in denial and want to do all the normal things I do had I not come down with some ailment.  I try to be up and about, I even try exercising it out (I ran six miles in forty minutes until I felt truly rotten).  Mentally allowing myself to be ill is somewhat of a process.  Then, it hits, and I become exhausted to the point of becoming unable to rise from bed.  About two days into being sick, I forgot what it felt like to be well.  I then remembered that whenever I was well, I forget what being sick felt like, although I know I dislike it immensely (not that anyone likes to be sick), but it made me think about how wired we are to live in the moment.  When I am weakened by sickness in bed, all I am is is ill, and being well becomes a distant, foreign experience.

As much as I forgot what being well was like, I at least knew I had something wonderful to look forward to.

Suffering through the flu was a reminder that I had being well to look forward to.  Dumb reminder, I know, but the feeling of peace that comes with knowing that the outcome will be better than the process felt familiar. Kind of like whenever I felt famished to the point of vertigo and nausea, but not panicked because I knew I would soon be fed; suffering through the tedious work on a project because pouring my heart and soul into it would yield nothing less than stellar results; suffering through a really awful job because money is necessary, then seeing all the zeros in my bank account.

I then remember that those situations I have taken for granted all my life, some people exist in.  That is the state within which they live.  Constant illness, hunger, thirst, injustice, working until their knuckles are bare, and laboring through the worst conditions - seeing the light at the end of the tunnel but never being able to reach it, exists all over the world, every day.  Innocent people who are born and punished for no reason, never live to feel relief.  Although my experiences in suffering are so very insignificant compared to those which exist in humanity, it is my only way to empathize.  I know I can't help strangers who are sick, starving families, those who live in a land where drought kills, hard workers who do not get compensated.

I am no one.  Just a person whose idea of suffering involves having the sniffles and laying in bed.  I do, however, know what it feels like to yearn for better.  There is still a light at the end of the tunnel, and each day, I pray and hope and work toward that result which will put me in a better position than I am in today.  While I do that; while I do what I need to for myself, I try to do what I can for those who have nothing but hope and faith that someday they will feel better, food will come, clean water will be pumped, and fair wages will be granted to them.

It is 2011, and today is Women's Equality Day.  I am not sure what I should be celebrating.  Anatomically, I don't ever expect to equal a man.  A man does not have the power to sustain life within him for nine months then excruciatingly give birth to that life, only to use his body to nourish it.  I get it.  This is a man's world, but technically, women already run it.

Human rights, fundamental rights bestowed upon all those who breathe on this planet are taken for granted by so many, and are denied to so many more.  There is a way to help change things, even in the tiniest way possible.

The beauty in suffering is that it is the one thing all members of the human race have in common.

It makes some of us MAD AS HELL

It REFRESHES some of us...

It INSPIRES us to bring healing to others...

It gives us HOPE for a future to believe in....

It EMPOWERS us to protect the POWERLESS...

It shows us how BLESSED we are, so that we can SHARE the blessings with others...

It makes us want to EASE the suffering of others.

To put is simply, SUFFERING makes us ONE.

Some people who see me automatically think that I'm this snobby, presumptuous bitch.  Which is a valid assumption.  I am well aware of the fact that I carry myself in a certain way.  Until I open my mouth, I have a somewhat cold demeanor.  I don't smile very often at people because I notice that whenever I do, they talk to me, and as much as I love people, sometimes, I just don't feel like indulging in small talk with strangers.  I can't tell you how many times a person has told me, "When I first met you, I thought you were stuck-up, but once we started talking, I realized you're a really goofy, funny, warm person."  I mention this because I realize where they're coming from.  I respect their perspective.  I can't blame them for assuming the worst, as most people do, because it's better to be pleasantly surprised than it is to be disappointed.

Lately, I have been watching the lives of those I love unfold around me.  Chapters which lasted decades have seen their final punctuation mark and the next chapter is now being written.  Most people I know and love are very blessed.  

It began with a thought.  They either had this idea for a better direction in life, or they decided they were no longer satisfied with the way things were happening for them, and they worked and strove toward the goal they decided for themselves, and they prayed.  I have known many people who have worked hard and prayed hard and got what they wanted and wished and cried and prayed for, and still were not satisfied.  I realize that some people feel a gigantic empty space within the realm of their lives, that can not be filled, no matter how great the accomplishment.  Those are never satisfied.  I also have known people who work and pray toward a goal, and when that chance comes, it is in unfamiliar territory, and out of fear, they do not take the opportunity that may have significantly, positively changed their lives.  There there are the few lucky ones, who work their will into their future, arrive at the changing point, "Grab the bull by the horns," as they say, and realize that the point to which they were brought, is exactly where they should be, and they feel blessed, looking forward to the next amazing leg of their journey.

I realize that there are many different variations of scenarios and reactions people may have to those situations.  The bottom line is, most people are never satisfied, some people allow their fear to dictate their lives, and some people find blessing in simply reaching the point they are at.  I know I am a combination of those.

I used to fall only under the category of the first two people I described.  I had everything, and still felt like had nothing.  I was constantly surrounded by people, and still felt lonely.  I lived in a gorgeous home, but still felt homeless.  I had the chance to do bigger, and better things with my life, but out of the fear of the unknown, I put the brakes on even before the engine started.  On the surface, I was this bubbly, cheerful person, but inside, I was in shambles.  To be honest, I don't remember a lot about how I felt, nor how my thought processes went, all I know is that I can look at photographs of my old self and not recognize that person.  Is this something I beat myself up for?  No.  There's not reason to look back and regret.    

The beauty of struggle is, when it's over, and you're still here, even if you're cut and bruised , that means you won.      

Being unhappy is a pretty shitty way to live.  It is a choice most people lazily allow themselves to default to, because they feel like the circumstances which surround them are beyond their control.  This is true.  We can not control the external circumstances in which we are immersed, we can only control the ways in which we deal with them.  This brings me to one of my most favorite sentiments, via Gabrielle Bernstein,

"If your happiness is based on external experience, then, my darling, you are fucked."

I admire how effectively the f-bomb is used here, and she is absolutely right!

I don't want to change the way people perceive me, I'd rather affect their emotion while they spend time with me.

I don't expect people who get what they want to think that life is all cupcakes and butterflies, because this world can be a scary, nasty place.  However, you are only defeated when you've chosen to believe you are defeated.  You are only a victim when you allow yourself to be victimized.  Yes, people are awful and can do horrible things to you, but it is within you to overcome them, and the unthinkable situations that have happened to people.  Things can always be worse.  This is when mental fortitude and spiritual resilience comes in.  Nobody said this world would be gentle.  It is within you to make this life worth living.    

I don't expect people to dive into their manifested dreams fearlessly and without caution, but I do hope that they believe in themselves enough to give themselves a chance to at least take the first steps to allow themselves to get where they always thought they wanted to go.

As for my miraculously having turned from a pessimistic ingrate into the perpetually at-peace version of myself - It took conscious effort to shift perspective.  Before, I simply didn't realize that it was within my capacity to change my thoughts and feelings about life.  My life is pretty rad.  I'm not bragging, I just wish that more people would feel the same way, because, Folks, this life is the only one you'll have...in this body, with those people whom you love.  This is it.  This isn't rehearsals.  You don't get the double take.  After this perspective, I'm not sure what the next one will be like, but it's better to appreciate it now because in terms of time, and how much time there is, and how little time we have; Life is a Fleeting Moment.  Make sure you approach each with a perspective that'll make the following moments just that much better than the ones before.

In honor of Thanksgiving, I did not want to limit myself to one day.  So, I started a tradition last year that helped me become a more appreciative person.  For every day in the month of November, I would think in my life, either major or frivolous, that I am thankful for.  This will be edited daily, or as often as I have time, for the sake of the list.

11.1.10

I am thankful for the innovations that people have made in order to better this world.

11.2.10

Today, I am thankful for wild animals who do not react wildly toward humans who show them love and affection.

11.3.10

I am saddened and thankful for Andy Irons, athlete extraordinare and for the legacy he has left behind.  RIP, my friend.  Ride those endless waves...

11.4.10

I am thankful for comfortable stilettos.  Sexy and functional.

11.5.10

Today, I am thankful for those who walked out of my life when they did, because that is exactly when they needed to give me the proper view.  Some people are the most beautiful when they walk away.

11.6.10

Sunshine makes me grateful for the days some weren't blessed enough to live to see.

11.7.10

I am thankful for Cupcake Vinyards Sauvignon blanc.

11.8.10

I am thankful for professors who want their students to do well.

11.9.10

Today, I am thankful to my family and friends.  The very few and special ones in my life who never hesitate to call me out on my shit.  Y'all tell me when I'm being dumb, unreasonable, and petty.  Most importantly, whenever I have felt defeated, you remind me that there is nothing in this world I can not do.

11.10.10
Crackers.  I love and miss crackers.

11.11.10
Doggies.  I am thankful for dogs.

11.12.10
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk

11.13.10
Bikram Yoga

11.14.10
Books.  Hardback, paper back books.

11.15.10
Facts versus versions of the truth.

11.16.10
Air travel.

11.17.10
Old friends and new situations.

11.18.10
My favorite sweatpants.

11.19.10
Nice days to run at the park.

11.20.10
Bed picnics.

11.21.10
Friends who are like family

11.22.10
Jimmy Choo

11.23.10
Lattes

11.24.10
Freedom

11.25.10
Butterflies in my stomach

11.26.10
Lamb Burgers from Crave

11.27.10
Skin

11.28.10
Scented candles

11.29.10
Large, designer handbags

11.30.10
Love fixing all that ails the world...