Project: Ego Kickin'

I remember a conversation I had with a good friend a couple of months ago.  She shall remain nameless, because I love her that much.  About two years ago, I came home a broken woman.  I literally got to hit the refresh button on my life and had the opportunity to reinvent myself, which is a privilege all people deserve to be able to go through, but only few take advantage of their opportunities to do so.  One way in which I dealt with the mess I had just gone through, was to inundate my mind and soul with uplifting nuggets of encouragement.  Quotes, if you will...that helped my days end brightly when they began shrouded in darkness.  One of the quotes I fervently cling to, even to this day, is

You are STRONGER than you FEEL,

You are SMARTER than you THINK,

and

You are more BEAUTIFUL than you'll ever SEE.

 Now, I'm not claiming no one had ever put this sentence together and said it before me.  It just happened to help me through some things, and it's one thing I constantly tell my friends who do not see themselves as the strong, intelligent, gorgeous creatures they really are.  The situation I was discussing with my friend did not apply to this statement, which she used in an attempt to console me.  I already knew this.  I whole-heartedly believe this.  I don't know why it irked me so that the girl couldn't seem to find her own words.  She can't even seem to find her own way.  She always has to have someone to cling to, no matter how dangerous that person is.  She reminds me of a younger, more naive version of myself.  

I had to step away from the situation and tell my ego to shut the fuck up.  Who am I to be irritated by a person who loves me and is just trying to help me through my struggle?  Ego has no place in love.

I have been working on squelching the effect my ego has on my relationships - both with myself, and with others.  It's one of the many things I struggle with.  I consciously shape my thoughts around humility, so as not to place myself neither above nor below others.  It's tough, I gotta tell you.  I have to be mindful of what thoughts I allow to pass through my brain.  Until recently, I was a egomaniac.  When I realized it gets in the way of things - important connections with people, I knew I had to get it in check.  I first began exercising my thought process by thinking of one good thing about every person I saw for one month.  I intentionally didn't apply it to only people I met, because I wanted to apply it to people I saw on television, in the movies, or ones I read about.  If there were no people to apply it to, I applied it to places, and yes, things.  That exercise changed my life.  I felt responsible for the energy I put out there.  For the first time in my life, I was able to take accountability for my thoughts.  We often forget...

Our thoughts are the foundation for our words and actions.

I have never, in my life, stopped myself so many times and asked, "Who the hell do you think you are?"  It has been a good thing.  My exercise in humility is one I refuse to stop repeating.  The world feels different.  I am also aware that people see only what I want them to see, but that those who know better will see through anything less than genuine.  

Try it for a month.  Find one good thing about any person and any thing you come across.  I know pessimists probably think this is a dumb experiment and is a waste of time, but let's not forget that you exist only in the world you have created for yourself.  If you think everything/everyone sucks, then they/it will.  If you believe that there is happiness and beauty around you, that's what will be around you.  I promise, this will make you see the world differently.

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